


Nothing But a Beast

by coleinamug



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coleinamug/pseuds/coleinamug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwalin, who is a large dwarf and quite obviously a warrior, is never seen as anything but. He is a monster in the eyes of many, and after years of being treated as a beast, the seasoned warriors believes them.<br/>However, when he continues his role as the King's guard dog on the rode to Erebor, he is taught to see himself as a dwarf again.<br/>And over time learns to appreciate his size and strength as he protects the one he grows to love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

Dwalin isn’t a small dwarf, nor the nicest looking, farthest from the sweetest, he knows this. But one thing he craves more than anything else is to be treated like anything but a monster. 

Don’t get him wrong he get’s a thrill from seeing people flinch when their eyes land on him for the first time, or when they see him stand up, bringing forth his full height and size. 

But sometimes, when it’s the rare person he want’s to greet him with a smile instead, it’s as bad as a stab to the gut when they instead look for any excuse possible to leave his presence. 

Even when he was a child, parents would whisper in their children's ears, to not go near that large child. 

That angry child.

Poor thing, whose older brother was so so sweet.

What happened?

Doesn’t matter, stay away from him. His anger is dangerous.

Much too dangerous.

But he was only frustrated.

Wouldn’t any child be if at such a young age they were already being titled a beast?

He just wanted someone to allow him to hold them, to caress, to make love to them without expecting a hard fuck instead. 

That was another thing, no one took him serious unless he was pushing them against a wall and fucking them with such a force to send dust falling on their over-heated bodies. 

But that’s not what he wants.

Not what he needs.

He needs to hold the one he loves in his arms.

He needs to be greeted with a smile and a shy wave.

He needs to be treated like a dwarf, not a monster. 

But that will never happen, not when he has instead spent his lifetime covering his body with tattoos and battle scars that only intensify the image of a violent creature. 

That only prove those hushed whispers right.

Maybe that’s all he is after all.

All he ever will be. 

A monster.


	2. Unexpected Emotions (chapter 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin, whose self esteem is something to work on, doesn't receive the response from Ori he was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing this out of curiosity.

Dwalin has a brutal appearance. From the scars, to the tattoos, size and height, he’s no welcoming presence.

No one would want him standing by the business in fear of him scaring away their customers with his sharp eyes and graveled voice. Thus why the only job Dwalin has ever been able to find a place in has been as a guard. He’s perfect for it after all, and it would be such a waste for such strength, power, and confidence to be hidden in a library or blacksmiths hut.

He was a weapon perfectly crafted to throw the most feared thieves and criminals behind bars with out so much as a flinch at their weapons or digging words.

No other fighter was so willing to stand by their king side, the king without a kingdom, as they ran head first into the army of orcs standing in their way.

With confidence he’ll make it through with his majesty still ahead of him very much alive.

That was all he was good for, after all.

And why turn the king down when he has been such a friend all these years. It was, after all, Thorin Oakinshield as one of the only other people besides his own mother and brother to not walk away after receiving their first glance of Dwalin. All those years ago, just children at the time, he stood strong and glared just as hard back at the taller and broader dwarf in front of him. And ever since Dwalin has found a friend, a comrade in the prince and later king. Someone who talks to him like another Dwarf instead of an animal. Who doesn’t look down at him and whisper behind their hands as he passed.

For once he felt somewhat welcomed.

That is why when his brother told him other wise, told him he was being used, he pushed the older dwarf against the wall.

No one talked about his king like that. Not even ever his brother.

But was his brother right? As Balin glared back and pushed back with surprising force for a graying dwarf, the words he spat back hit Dwalin deep in parts of his insecurities he has ignored for so many years.

Yes he found a friend out of Thorin, but is he truly treated as a comrade? As he was sent to guard the prisons, march through the cities, and storm towards the enemies with his ax held firmly in his hands, was he truly being treated as another dwarf? As a friend? Or was a he a guard dog?

Once again his size and height were being used as if they were the only things that signified who Dwalin was. He was an angry brute of a dwarf, so why wouldn’t the king take advantage of that.

So he told his brother such out of anguish.

And as he pushed away and turned his back to the older dwarf, he couldn’t help the helpless feeling returning after all these years. The insecurities and depression he ignored behind the relief and juvenile glee at being welcomed.

Because really, after all this time he had still yet to find someone who could look passed his appearance, his past. And really, would he ever? It was who he was, just accept it, he told himself.

Accept that his friendship with Thorin came with strings attached.

Accept that if he was ever injured bad enough to take him out of action and sit him in a reading room chair for the rest of his suffering life, Thorin would disappear. He would no longer care.

So yes, Dwalin was being used. But he accepts this, because it will be the only thing he will ever receive.

It wouldn’t be long before his own brother would see what everyone else see’s. See the monster that has no business around the calm and happy communities dwarves normally call home, instead he was but a weapon built for the field. Soon his brother will realize that and stop fooling himself. And then Dwalin will be truly and rightfully alone.

This was who he was.

Therefore, when his King approached him with his plan to take back his lost kingdom one night in a dark corner through whispered words, he could only say

_Ay, my King_

_I’ll be there, my King_

_You have my word, my king_

And if this suicide mission would lead him to his inevitable death, than so be it. Because then he’d die doing what he does best.

He didn’t, however, expect to find a reason to fear their voyage’s inevitable end.

To regret saying yes only because of the death that was sure to follow.

He never expected to find a home in someone.

To find someone who didn’t fear the monster in him.

Nay.

He didn’t expect to find someone who denied there ever being a monster in Dwalin, but instead just a misinterpreted dwarf.

Dwalin never expected for his life to begin in the form of petit historian, who had no business among such warriors. To be sitting in a much too cramped hobbit hole, across the table from such a gorgeous creature. And such a sight was more surprise than he could handle, that he could only feel anger and bitterness. To feel such sudden want and need for someone who peered at him with eyes he was sure would be filled with fear was more painful than any glance ever was before.

What made it even worse is that he recognized the young dwarf and his brothers flanking him as he fell through the hobbits door. Even the names, Ori, Nori and Dori instantly brought back memories from the home back in the Blue Mountains.

Nori, of course he knew he would be here he had been warned by Thorin to put their past behind them and to continue on as comrades. Forget about their roles as thief and guard for the time being.

 _Dwalin will if that smirking bastard will_.

Dori, now he didn’t realize he was brothers to Nori. What a shame that is, but by the looks Dori is sending his brothers way he isn’t ignorant to the criminal he’s related to.

Perhaps he’ll take the role of making sure the little bastard stayed in line until Dwalin can drag him back to the prison where he belonged.

It wasn’t until Dori called the familiar name Ori, _now he was sure he has heard his own brother say that name before_ , that Dwalin looked up in surprise to see the young dwarf peering up at him through wide eyes.

Yes he recognized him, though he had never taken much interest nor attention in the man before him until now. He had been much too busy with his own duties to worry about the student under his brothers wing, besides Dwalin was sure he only ever saw him a hand full of times in the many years of living in the same area.

However, now as they grouped in the hobbit’s home preparing for a voyage that will more than likely lead to a dramatic end, he finally looked.

Finally noticed the beautify that is standing before him, and with it the fear that shines in the younger dwarves eyes as he has to look up at the warrior before him.

But what surprises Dwalin the most is that fear didn’t seem to be the main emotion shining in those young eyes, barely even seemed to be there.

He’s sure he saw it, though.

No, it’s there, he knows what it looks like. He see’s it so much in the dwarves he passes each day.

But Dwalin could have sworn that it was soon over taken by other emotions, that maybe that fear is not directed to him after all, but instead at the journey ahead of them.

Almost every dwarf in the room was sporting at least a glimmer of fear in the corner of their eyes, afterall.

No, instead there is surprise.

Shock.

And is that?

_What is that doing there?_

Dwalin could have sworn as he glances down at the young Ori being introduced to him, in a faraway Hobbit hole with aging warriors, black smiths, writers and toy makers, there was something else.

In the shining eyes looking up at him, he could have sworn he saw joy.

_Now that's not right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe our little dwarf had notice Dwalin a bit more than he's been noticed in return. ;)
> 
> The next chapter I will hopefully get more into dialogue, including the other dwarves as well, but for now I wanted to look a bit more into the Dwalin angst. 
> 
> Once again, sorry for any possible grammar mistakes. I'm only doing a quick edit myself.


End file.
